Transcription:Worked to the Bone
[The Legion of Doom is holding a meeting, with Lex Luthor wrapping up a monologue.] Lex Luthor: ... which will bump Eddie's plan to the end of March. But I don't think anyone loves Malcolm and the Riddle anyway! [Laughs] All in favor? [The other Legion of Doom members all sigh/moan passively.] Lex Luthor: All in favor? ... Okay, what's the problem? Black Manta: '''You're working us to the bone, Luthor! We've butt-polished these seats into reflective surfaces! I pulled a chair out for Grodd the other day and got into a staring contest with his brown eye! '''Scarecrow: Why don't we get vacations? [Scarecrow and the other LoD members aside from Luthor begin chanting:] LoD Members: Vacation! Vacation! Lex Luthor: You idiots have plenty of time off: it's called prison! [Starro, out of nowhere, jumps onto the table.] Starro: Luthor is correct! I, Starro the Conqueror, require no vacation! Why, when I'm defeated by the Justice League, I'm back to business the next day! I was at the drawing board, not the shuffleboard! [An annoyed Captain Cold stands, picks up Starro, and walks offscreen with him.] Starro: I, uh, hey, where are we going? Oh, you gotta take a leak? Oh, I want some- [Captain Cold, still outside the camera's view, flushes Starro down the toilet, then comes back to his seat.] Captain Cold: We're all on the same page, right guys? Brainiac: You shouldn't flush those things. That's how New York got those giant alligators in the sewers. Captain Cold: Ugh, that's just an urban legend! [Killer Croc comes in from out of nowhere.] Killer Croc: Oh, ya think so? [Everyone sits awkwardly for a few seconds, not saying a word, as Killer Croc silently walks offscreen.] Lex Luthor: Moving onto new business... [Scarecrow's nephew, Calvin, walks in wearing an apron and carrying cups of coffee.] Calvin: '''I got four mochas; two whip, two naked! '''Lex Luthor: What? My daughter Lena is supposed to bring the coffee! Who the fuck are you?! Scarecrow: Oh, that's my nephew Calvin. Isn't he great? Trying to help my sister out. Calvin: I'm taking Lena's shift while she's on vacation with her boyfriend! Grodd: 'Wow. Lena does what she wants! [''Luthor slaps the coffees out of Calvin's hands.] '''Lex Luthor: No! This insubordination will not stand! Scarecrow: Well, you heard him. Go. It's over. I tried but it didn't work out. It is what it is, okay? Tell Sis I love her. What? What're you looking at? Get the fuck outta here! [Scarecrow pushes Calvin offscreen.] Lex Luthor: Brainiac, tap into the grid! We'll cross-reference the database of every airline in the country until- [Grodd's phone beeps. Grodd takes a look.] Grodd: Oh, Lena's Instagram is blowin' up with vacay pics! [Toyman looks at it over Grodd's shoulder.] Toyman: Wow, that beach house looks amazing! Grodd, cross your legs. I can see your dick. Lex Luthor: Lena thinks she can defy me? You all wanted a vacation? Well, the Legion of Doom is going to the beach! [Luthor presses a button on his stand, causing a steering wheel to appear on it.] Computer: Flight mode engaged! Sinestro: What? Lex Luthor: The Hall of Doom. It flies. Catwoman: '''Meow, we've been commuting to the Okefinokee Swamp when we could've been anywhere else, meow? '''Scarecrow: I wear fucking burlap, man! And the 20 pounds of swamp water it takes on every morning! I've got a case of trenchfoot that's marched halfway up my balls! [Luthor grips the steering wheel.] Lex Luthor: Buckle up! [Meanwhile, right outside the Hall of Doom, the Swamp Thing is communicating with the swamp's flora and fauna.] Swamp Thing: This bastion of evil upsets the delicate balance of The Green. You were right to summon me, the Swamp Thing, for I am your protector. [The Hall of Doom's rockets ignite behind him.] Swamp Thing: Do you smell gasoline? Shit, shit! This thing's taking off! [Swamp Thing begins shoving the swamp animals out of his way so he can escape.] Swamp Thing: Run, get the fuck outta my way! [Swamp Thing tries to run away, but it is too late. The Hall of Doom takes flight and its rocket thrusters burn him to a crisp as he screams. The image of Swamp Thing being engulfed in flames then appears on the cover of a comic book.] Announcer: The Death of Swamp Thing: the most shocking comic book of the year! Now on sale! Category:Transcriptions